The chapter of today is 《Connecting Always Requires Energy》. The key word of today is Energy. Full of energy can help us become a good communicator, cause everyone wants to talk with this kind of speakers who have a lot of energy, especially the energy can transfor between the people.
And now let us talk about why energy is required in connecting.
If you talk with a person, and get answer like “Ah, En, Yes, Okay, Allright”, I think nobody wants to continue talking with this guy. If I were talking with this guy, I feel boring, and I don’t want to talk about anymore. But if I were talking with this kind of person who is good at listening and deliver me some good question like, “What happened? You are so great! I love your experience. I can totally understand what you think.” I must talk endless topices.
Depends on that, I want to become a good listener and good communicator. Now this book gives me the answer, and this chapter is very interesting, cause we will know how to be a full energy person.
FIRSTLY! There are some ways to build up a good communication.
1. USE SOMETHING SPECIAL AS THE REMAINDER, SUCH AS PICTURES OR VIDEOS. That can record every special moment, and can help us remember past details. If we did not get one, from now on try to get one when we talk with friends.
2. REMEMBER OTHERS NAMES. We all have name, so we want to listen our name when we talk with others. That means we are important, and we are the subject in this communication. If someone does not know who you are, only say: Hey, man~? Do you think it is werid? and rude?
3. LET OUR PARTNERS KNOW THEY ARE SPECIAL. Everybody wants to be special and important, cause everyone wants to get self-confident. So, talk more about the good things in others life can help this happen often.
4. BE A GOOD LISTENER. If you talk with a person who is interested in everything have happened in your life, you must feel happy, and no matter how beautiful or hundsome this guy is. You are going to say more. So if you want to listen more details from the others, please, be a good listener.
5. SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR PARTNER. I know that most people are busy every day, so if you want to spend more time with your partner and talk some good things or close things, that will show your partner, how important he or she is.
6. GREET EVERYONE IN DIFFERENT WAY. Waht if we see people and ask questions in different way or talk about different things. That will better than talk one topic with all people.
7. TALK ABOUT OUR MISTAKES WHEN PARTNER IS DEPRESSED. If you want people to be impressed, you can talk about your successes, but if you want people identify with you, it is better to talk about your failures. Especially, when our partner feel not good, that currently time who doesn’t want to listen how good the life is.
8. ACKNOWLEDGING OUR PARTNER AS PART OF OUR SUCCESS. This is a good way to build good communication and friendship with others, also it is useful in relationship. I am great, not only who I am, but who I am having you. Romantic and Impression!
If you wait until you can do everything to everybody, instead of something for somebody, you will end up not doing anything for anybody.
We don’t need to wait too long until we feel well-prepared, cause there is no best time to prepare everything. Just now, now, it is the best time, anytime!
DO IT NOW! LET US LEARN BY DOING.
BOOM! A good communication is built up!
SECONDLY! Let us back to the topic about ENERGY.
There is one way to show our energy successfully, which is willing.
WILLING means be eager to do something. So, when we are willing to use the energy whatever we have to talk with other, must different! Even I don’t make sure it will useful in every time, but must different.
From this day forward, I solemnly promise and declare that every time a customer comes within ten feet of me, I will smile, look him in the eye, and greet him.
GO FIRST! What if we go first, our partner must feel better! Do you like this guy who talks with you immediately when you just came to a strange space? Definitely yes, right? So, put our energy into our greeting, and smile, try our best to worm up the others. We will get not only good experience, but also good friendship.
BE VALUABLE / BE INTERESTING! If we like a partner very much, we’d better to learn more and make ourselves become more valuable or interesting. When we add more value into our communication with partner who is intersted in this communication more.
KNOWING OUR PARTNER! Very easy understand! Try our best to know more information about our partner! How many people know your partner, especially after you get married? Right? That is the propble!
KNOWING OURSELVES! We need know not only our partner, but also ourselves. Do you know yourself? Do you know who you are? Do you know what you can do? Do you know what you cannot do?
PREPARE GOOD PREPARATION! For the first time communication, we’d better prepare a good introduction about ourself, that can make ourselves more attractive, and show partner our well prepared.
THIRDLY! Let’s become a GIVER, if you want to be good at communicate. Especially, this is the most diffecult in my life. And be a giver requires energy very much. I mean the energy is needed for a giver. And we almostly become a taker from the giver, when some bad things happen.
To be a giver brings life, like watering a plant so that is grows, but to be a taker is like sucking the water and nutrients from the soil, leaving both the plant and the soil depleted and useless.
Being a giver can take a lot of energy. And being a giver is usually a win-win.
So, be a giver, give your partner all of your interest, give them your eye contact, your focus, your attention, anything whatever you have.
And I want to say even you are an introvert like me, can be a good communicator, cause you can get energy easily! Just take a break, enjoy some alone time, or make some deep thought, BOOM! You will full of energy!
FINALLY! Let me give you TEN TIPS to help you meet new friends.
Possess the ability to make others feel confortable.
Appear to be confident and at ease.
Have an ability to laugh at themselves. (not at others)
Show interest in others, they maintain eye contact, self-disclose, ask questions, actively listen.
Extend themselves to others, they lean into a greeting with a firm handshake and a smile.
Convey a sence of energy and enthusiasm.
Are we rounded, well informed, and well mannered？
Prepare stories of actual occurrences that are interesting, humorous, and appropriate.
Introduce people to each other, with an infectious enthusiasm that motivates conversation between the introducees.
Convey respect and genuinely like people, the core of communicating.